Die Hard on a Blog

By the end of this post, I will present a list of demands. But first, a dramatic preamble.

Half a lifetime ago I stumbled upon my first real girlfriend. Shortly after we started dating, she moved to India. That was the last time I let my parents send me away to summer camp. Instead of spending an extra three weeks with a chick who actually liked me back, I got to be the weird guy who wore a trenchcoat and a fedora in 80-degree weather, played role-playing games as much as I wanted, and met a really cute gymnast who wanted maybe only one thing more than to read the first draft of A Christmas Tree From Hell.

Put that way, I guess I should have given performing arts summer camp one more shot. I wonder if I'm too old to be a counselor.

But I digress. After my girlfriend left the country, I wrote her letters once a month, every month for a year. I didn't even think of dating anyone else until January. Of course, I never heard back from her until a year later, when I wrote my "this is my last" letter.

It was then that I finally heard from her. She claimed to have been horribly depressed and missed me all that time. She finally sent me a picture, albeit one where she appeared hardly bigger than my thumbnail. (She did say she lost some weight.) I wrote her back, informing her that, yes, I did finally have a new girlfriend, which prompted her to write that she had only gone out with me on a dare, to which I responded not too politely, which was countered with a "How dare you think that last letter was true? I was only mad!" response, and continued until I finally discovered my superpower--the ability to destroy friendships on purpose.

If my abnormal ability sounds depressing, it's really more of a blessing than a curse. I think of it as Delayed Blast Karma. I have yet to meet anyone who can take that many d6 of emotional damage. Let's see Heroes rip that off.

And now we'll skip to the part where my flashback becomes relevant.

I don't have the window on Tuesdays and Thursdays I used to. Considering that I didn't necessarily post until late on those days and I live on the west coast, this may not make any difference to you. But I don't know that for sure because no one has said anything.

I realize that our current audience is composed of friends who may not be as hungry for Internet content as Mr. Bile or myself. But I have a vague plan to expand beyond our core demographic and that requires feedback. I have requested input several times and recieved none outside of phone conversations or the occasional e-mail. If I wish to expand our influence, and I do, that can no longer be considered sufficient.

Therefore, I will not post again until I recieve significant answers to the following questions, either in comments or by e-mail. Have fun on the pledge drive, Mr. B.

1. What days do you read our blog? Would you object to a traditional M/W/F schedule?
2. What do you think of our current font/color scheme? (Whenever I try a large font to accomodate sleepy eyes, it looks stupid. Agree/Disagree?) I hear it takes a toll on readers above the age of 30.
3. What features should we follow up on? More metaplot? Short story movie reviews? Wal-Mart muckraking? Original fiction that would be otherwise unmarketable?
4. It's late and I'm tired. I'm forgetting something.
5. Do our comments and e-mails even work?

Until I hear from you, Narraptor out.