Forgive me. I know it's hypocritical given my vehement, entirely non-apologist proselytizing of Lost, but allow me to rain on someone else's period. No, I'm not going to rant about Heroes. This goes out to South Korea.
And I meant "parade".
If you keep up with this type of thing, by now you've seen the trailer for Starcraft II. If not, you can check it out...oh, here. Or keep reading and I'll spoil it for you. It proves beyond a doubt that power armor is stupid. You're wearing a metal suit that has to be screwed together by robots, which means you can't take it off, yet your face is protected by a mere retractable shield. What happens if just one of your mechanical legs goes bad? Or if your faceplate gets splattered with luminescent blood? Do you drop to your knees and wait for a drone to come patch you up? I'm guessing this is why people who read Starship Troopers had such a problem with the movie. The trailer doesn't even hold up to suspended disbelief--video game suspended disbelief.
And yet you can clearly hear people cheering in the background throughout.
Here are two ways to interpret this reaction:
1. Imagine a world where every new version of Carcassonne/Puerto Rico/Ticket to Ride or any other well-balanced German strategy game was announced as the Second Coming via full-motion video or...
2. Imagine a world where people took non-player characters ripped off from Warhammer Fantasy/Whatever K seriously and wanted to know what happened to them.
Both options are pretty embarrassing.
I haven't played Starcraft since the single player campaign refused to acknowledge my accomplishments ("I must sacrifice myself to destroy the hive." "Dude, I already killed it!"), but I'll give the multiplayer the benefit of the doubt. Given its longevity in the international market, it may well be the closest that any RTS has gotten to board game perfection. Fine. But you know what? When I discovered their was a deluxe version of Kill Dr. Lucky, I only went "Woo!" in the privacy of my own home. It was not a spiritual experience.
As for possibility number two, you've got to be kidding. "Yay! We get to find out who lives and who dies no matter what we do!" In WOW parlance, this is "lore". In real role-playing games, we call that rail-roading.
I'm disappointed. Starcraft II, World of Starcraft, Diablo III...I was crossing my fingers for something new. Bookworm Adventures and Puzzle Quest deserve more hype than this announcement.
