"So does anybody here like meerkats? You might have seen some on the popular basic cable series Real Meerkats of the San Diego Zoo. This is a song about meerkats."
"Does anyone here like to watch rhinos defecate? Male rhinos have genitalia reminiscent of Graboids. This is a song about rhino orifices."
"Is anyone here just to see Voltaire cry? He even looks good when he feels the world's pain. This is our 'When You're Evil'."
"Have any of you guys entered the cold, bitter, digestion-accelerating waters of Santa Monica or Venice Beach? It's a nice place to visit if you can ignore the constant threat of getting your legs entangled in seaweed and drowning in the runoff of the Third Street Promenade. This is a song about 'Do Not Swim' signs."
"Anybody here tonight ever accidentally stumble in front of someone's camera when you were really, really mad and then they posted the picture on the Internet? This is a song about Hare Krishnas."
[image pending]
"Is there anyone here just to see our band that didn't come with their mom? Anyone?"
...
That last one might be a bit harsh. My introduction to goth music included a Bella Morte demo tape, and considering how far they've come, I believe Creature Feature has potential. But they need to improve their stage patter. Asking a goth crowd if they like zombies is like asking, "Who here wears black?"
I stand by my impression of Eternal. Zero to durnk in never.
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