I thought the formula was simple:
If A+|B| ≥ C, then buy Rogaine.
Where A= Vanity
B=Volume of lost hair
C=The cost of Rogaine.
The lowering prices of generic versions of the drug finaly tipped the scales. Unfortunately, my math was wrong. The equation is actually:
If A+|B| ≥ C+(X*Y)+(Z/2) then buy Rogaine.
Where A= Vanity
B=Volume of lost hair
C=The cost of Rogaine.
X=Hours left in the day after first application, during which time my hair will be chemical and oily.
Y= Annoyance at looking like I had used a very bad brand of hair gel for the first hour after use.
Z=Minutes spent each and every day to apply Rogaine correctly.
Apparently, I need to lose more hair...
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8 comments:
This post saddens me as it makes me think quite clearly of my gigantic and growing forehead and the continual defoliation at the skullcap.
Thanks Mr. Bile!
Exactly what was it that Malibu Stacy said?
"My Spidey-sense is tingling!"
Wait. Why is B in brackets? Is it part of a set or something? What's D? And there's a missing or misplaced parenthesis in the second equation, I think.
I guess you're not that good, Will Hunting.
B is in brackets to indicate that we're talking about the absolute value of missing hair, to remove any confusion as to whether a quantity of not-hair possesses a positive or a negative value.
All of the other errors are part of the reason I was never able to complete my minor in Haberdashery Sciences.
Well, that and the fact that our college removed that department in the middle of the schoolyear. Not that they remembered to inform the prospective freshmen of this fact, or to remove the two page Focus On Haberdashery spread in their promotional literature.
Wait, wait, wait! If "B" is supposed to be the absolute value of hair lost, then shouldn't it be between absolute value bars?
I propose the following equation:
If , A ＋ |B| ＞ C ＋ (X＊Y) ＋ (Z∕2), then buy Rogaine.
or for the unicode unfriendly,
If, A + |B| > C + (X*Y) + (Z/2), then buy Rogaine.
Ah! I thought that brackets were the closest thing to absolute-value bars one could get with current blogger technology. I will correct the post right now...
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