What About (Name Changed to) Bob?

Let me tell you what I know about (Named Changed to) Bob.

Bob lives in Canada. He likes role-playing games. He enjoys your role-playing game podcast. He has tried listening to other role-playing game podcasts, but his interest always wanes by the 15-minute mark. Your podcast is the only one he listens to. He likes it so much, in fact, that he listened to 30 episodes in one week. (Bob works 12-hour night shifts.)

Bob hasn't role-played in seven or eight years, but has stories about his role-playing days. Once, he played an elf in a Shadowrun campaign. His friend was playing a shaman. They fought some orcs and one of the orcs grabbed the shaman in a bear hug. Bob said, "Don't squeeze the shaman!" (He had been waiting two weeks for the opportunity.) Another time, shortly after the Tome of Magic came out for AD&D 2nd edition, he created a Wild Mage. He was Chaotic Neutral and casting Nahal's Reckless Dweomer as Magic Missle was his default strategy. His party encountered an army of flind(s?), and they decided to take out the flind leader in the hope the rest of the flind(s?) would scatter. Bob cast Nahal's Reckless Dweomer as Magic Missile on the leader and an anvil fell on the leader's head. He cast it again and that time the leader turned to stone. Unfortunately, it turned out the army was actually composed of several tribes, each with their own leader--

[A serious aside. Methinks the DM protest too much. The party took out the Big Bad easily, and the DM's ego left him with no recourse but to say, "No, you see, what you didn't notice before was that the flind(s?) are wearing different-colored armbands. Yeah, there's, like, a green tribe and a red tribe and a purple tribe, and you, though knowledgeable enough to spot a flind leader out of an entire army, didn't notice that there were other leaders, too."]

--so he cast Nahal's Reckless Dweomer as Magic Missile on the next leader. An inter-planar gate opened and a gorgon came out of it. The gorgon began turning everyone into stone. Bob shouted, "Look what that flind mage just did!" in order to place the blame somewhere else, and everyone but the ranger believed him. But Bob's favorite character was (Name Changed to) Dusk Condor. He played Dusk Condor in Heroes Unlimited and Champions. Dusk Condor could fly, see in infrared and ultraviolet spectrums, and more. But to make him interesting, Bob decided that Dusk Condor would be blind. This led to some problems, like when he had to tell the red wire from the blue one.

[I'm sorry, but I feel this point can't be made clear enough. Bob, your game master sucked.]

Bob is also creating his own role-playing game, one which either evokes the style of/takes place in the worlds of/or takes place in a setting similar to those depicted in M. Night Shyamalan's films. Coincidentally, your free indie role-playing game is exactly the same as the game he's been working on. And thanks to you, Bob is thinking about making his own podcast.

Why do I know this about Bob? Because you played four of his rambling voice-messages on one episode of your podcast.

This was a not only a disservice to your listeners, but to Bob. We don't need to hear stories about his characters, and you shouldn't allow him to expose himself on the Internet at time when he's dealing with a personal tragedy. He's probably very vulnerable at the moment, and doesn't need to know that we're glad he's not role-playing anymore, we don't care about his characters, and the chances that we'd listen to his podcast are even less than the likelihood of me listening to yours again.