The complete lack of assassination attempts towards me has become galling. A few years ago, I couldn't leave my house for fear of snipers. Now the only reason to stay inside is because it's cold out. Meanwhile, Narraptor is secure in the knowledge that he's worth quite a lot to some very important people.
I decided to work out my frustrations by mastering Hard on Guitar Hero 2. I literally played until my fingers bled, but since that was only five minutes into my first set, my audience remained unimpressed. This was more than made up for by my own reaction, which can be put in the general category of amazement.
Still, I don't want to take Narraptor's success too personally. It's important that even without books to purchase, you should still see Narraptor on his East Coast Tour. His readings are top notch, especially given that he often has to recite deleted chapters from memory. Afterwards, he'll be more than happy to answer the questions of the audience, as long as they are not even remotely connected to the filming of a Cat Paws movie. This includes the Bollywood film that is currently in production, and the Hollywood one that's in danger of being made a "Showtime Exclusive." He will discuss whether or not other authors should have their books made into movies, however. At the end of the show Narraptor always makes sure to throw his cat ears to the crowd, so be alert. His target demographic is prone to frenzy.
My only request is that someone makes sure to ask Narraptor where he gets his ideas from. One day he'll crack, and tell us the real secret that the Author's Guild has been hiding for so long.
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