Don't Read This! Random Late Night Ramblings On Harry Potter

Give me a break:

• Voldemort's newfound efficiency makes no sense. The narrative continues to prove that Deatheaters in a mob are even less competent than before they had ever appeared. The idea that You Know Who could suddenly take over the government and the media in a society powered by magic is preposterous. There is no precedent in the previous books for the good guys to be this incompetent, or for the bad guys to actually succeed at anything.

• Harry Potter is a coming of age series that refuses to come of age. After skipping over a description of Harry's first kiss in the Order of the Phoenix, now we've got Ron and Hermione tentatively patting each other on the arm or holding hands when they should be sneaking off and, at the very least, snogging. Excluding all the horrible possibilities that teenage boys with magic wands conjures to the mind, this book still reads as if written by a mom who refuses to acknowledge that young men have biological, reproductive imperatives that would if nothing else encourage them to spend less time sharing a bedroom. For a series that is always questioning the morals of adults, it's annoying that characters who have suffered torture, death, and societal ridicule still act like awkward 13-year-olds when it comes to relationships. I get that they're all essentially home-schooled, but both Harry and Hermione grew up with cable TV. People are dying, the tide has turned, why is everyone still such a prat?
  

• I'm only six discs in, which means there's still ten chapters before the plot starts, but it's maddening how previously well-realized students now appear as stereotypical cut-outs. Sure, it's meant to be that Ron and Hermione get together, but wasn't Crumb the first guy to realize that smart was hot? Shouldn't we feel bad about that? As for Ginny, the argument that she's the Mary Sue of Harry Potter is looking less and less like fangirl outrage. Once a shy girl of no consequence who liked an older boy, then the hard-ass non-Asian true love of the Chosen One, now she's gone all sacrificial Mary Jane on him. It's "Now Cho Chang's a bitch" all over again. Um, consistency, please?
  

This wouldn't be the first time that I've hated a Harry Potter book off the bat. I never expected to like the series in the first place. But I'm starting to get worried. There's going to be some unexpected payoff in the end, right?