There's something very wrong! At Disneyland. There's monsters singing songs! But they're singing "This is Halloween" instead of "Grim Grinning Ghosts." In a significant reversal after last year's declaration of war on Christmas, this holiday season, Christmas is at war with Disneyland.
The outer facade of the Haunted Mansion is littered with fake pumpkins, cheap candelabras, and a "days until Christmas" clock. Inside, at least four Hot Topics have exploded. While security kept photography within the Mansion to a minimum (there were only distracting cell phone camera flashes every thirty seconds), Canned Food and Shotguns did manage to capture devastating photos of what happens to the daily cosplay parade when Christmas comes all over it.
That Christmas tree is actually a 20-foot tall Roomba. Some say that contrary to all available evidence in the writers' podcasts, they have a plan. A minority of those say that plan is to suck up all childhood memories and cover them with tinsel and Disney-fied Christmas pop. Others, however, say, "Kawaii!"
The Christmas insurgency against Disneyland was on display throughout the park, the Downtown Disney shops, and even the scarcely-attended stronghold of Disney's California Adventures, where 3-D Muppets and Dave Foley hold the fort against an ever-growing army of carolers. In addition to conquering main street, the parade, the fireworks display, and New Orleans, Christmas has even managed to take control of a small world. This has been particularly alarming to secular commercial forces, as there are many places in that world that do not celebrate Christmas.
With little more than two weeks before the 25th of December, there are still a few valiant holdouts. Pirates from the Caribbean have kept up a successful barricade against the assault, though they are still suffering their own inappropriate incursions from Barbossa, Davy Jones, and Hans Zimmer. And two survivors persist on the Thanksgiving front, though neither would comment about their previously pardoned associates.
(The sign, not fully visible, identifies these as the "Happiest Turkeys on Earth.")
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