Hello from the future, where one misplaced letter renders our very language into katakana or some other form of Asiany hieroglyph. A mere 15 hours from now spacebars will be half their former size and bordered by character changing keys that are easily hit by stubby American fingers. It's what Morgan Spurlock warned us about.
The flight to Japan was dehydrating but otherwise uneventful. If you must be stuck in the middle seat on an airplane for 11 hours, a destination in Japan is probably your safest bet. I finished Errors and Omissions, and will have a word for the Onion AV Club when I return. I also skimmed through a small press horror novel which I won't mention by title. The publisher begged in the back pages for positive reviews on Amazon and Barnes and Noble's web site. I will do him a better courtesy and not dissuade anyone from reading this novel with homophobic homosexual sex, boring gratuitous violence (the worst kind), and scrotums filled with centipedes.
I should have just picked up the latter books in Naomi Novik's dragons meet Patrick O'Brien series. Despite having more semicolons in the first three pages than I have ever seen in my life, Her Majesty's Dragon is kind of fun.
When hiking through my wife's hometown today, we passed by her old elementary school. Rather than struggling with sea shanties on plastic recorders, these kids were outside wailing on Taiko drums. I felt robbed. And unless we restore music to our public school curriculums and invest in Guitar Hero, it's only a matter of time before we're all listening to Johnny Hell.
On another frightening note, I had been warned that there were big spiders and centipedes in my wife's hometown in the summer. I ran into one in her family's house last night that was bigger than my hand, and not in that daddy-long-legs way. The thing was horrifyingly proportionate. I guess when you grow up in an environment with spiders that big you can't afford to be afraid of them, but as far as I'm concerned that's like siding with the demons just because you're in Hell.
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