One of my goals at PAX was to pick up more T-shirts. Not counting my hoodie though, which is fairly useless for an East Coaster in Los Angeles, I already have three Penny Arcade shirts. As much as I'd like to hail ball, I'd feel like a tool if I could outfit myself courtesy of Kiko all week. So other than picking up a PAX '07 tee, my intent was to diversify.
In all, I acquired four new T-shirts. Two were purchased with cash. Another was given to me in return for a charitable donation. I won the last in a Chow-Yun Fat trivia contest.
Me: The Corrupter!Stranglehold Guy: Give that man a T-shirt.
Stranglehold Woman: You're a Medium?
Me: I taste dead people.
Stranglehold Woman: I have Large and Xtra large.
Me: Uh, maybe it will shrink in the wash?
Stranglehold Guy: What do John Woo, Brian DePalma, and J.J. Abrams have in common?
Me: Mission: Impossible!
Stranglehold Guy: Sir, you've already got your over-sized night shirt. No shot glass for you.
The Stranglehold T-shirts were designed solely for the development team on the video game. Also, it was white, so it wasn't like I'd be inclined to wear it anyway. Overall, a minor disappointment compared to the Large T-shirt I bought from The NESkimos.
I knew it would be too big for me. It always is when whoever is at the merch table says, "Maybe it will shrink in the wash." But I felt bad for them. They had to play after Freezepop, and other than rocking the entire soundtrack to Castlevania II, their set was weak. A guy I met last year at the post-PAX nerdcore night walked out. I'm sorry, dude. I was embarrassed, too.
I felt I'd look like a dick if I asked the ECA representative at PAX for a raincheck on a T-shirt I could actually wear. I'll do it through e-mail instead. I'll even return the one they gave me and pay for postage. It's for a good cause.
Which leaves me with one T-shirt that almost fits.
I know this seems unusually "You own a dog and you feed it" for our blog, but I am going somewhere with this. I just never gained respect for the academic approach to thesis statements. When the authors of Freakonomics or Richistan blow their "In conclusion" load in the first 15 pages, why do I need to read the rest of the book? Give me an anecdote instead, and save the sound bites for page 220.
Let me get this out of the way first. I don't know how widely it's been reported, but the Penny Arcade game On The Rain-Slick Precipice Of Darkness is a old-school graphic adventure with turn-based combat. I have seen it with my own eyes while holding several others' eyes in my hands. I had never imagined such a thing. It looks glorious.
We've been off the grid for several days in Seattle, soaking in PAX. On the spot reports are available at 1UP, with varying excesses in punctuation. Not that I blame anyone. Where else can you go from Wil Wheaton decrying government interference in video games to Uwe Boll ranting about foreign policy in less than 3 hours? Nowhere else on Friday, August 24th, 2007, that's where.
We'll be going into more intimate detail throughout the week. Rather than taking a "Day One, 1400 hours" approach, we'll dissect certain aspects of the experience to present a slice of life tableaux. Or at least I will, and I'll remove Mr. Bile's posts if he tries to do otherwise. We may not get to everything before deciding it's completely dated though, so allow me to single out some highlights:
- A day before the convention had even begun, I saw a furry.
- Over the course of three days, I was mistaken for an indie musician, a rock star, and a woman.
- I not only rode three escalators in succession with MC Frontalot, I saw his band demo "Creep" on Rock Band.
- Three people who I met last year at PAX, who I had not heard from since, came up to me and said, "Hey, it's you!" That was neat.
- I met two more nice people at the 1UP panel who might remember me next year.
- I sat through the entire surprise guest panel with Uwe Boll as he dissembled under questioning and, other than the woman who called him out for making racist shit (I think I'm paraphrasing, but I'm sure both those words were used), those who didn't leave the theater backed away from making the honest, incendiary comments they've freely printed anonymously on the Internet since House of the Dead.
- I got a complimentary spongy baseball from ITT Tech, and entered to win my weight in ramen noodles.
- I pwned Mr. Bile in Puzzle Fighter.
- I learned the difference between geeks and hipsters.
More on that last bullet point later this week. Also, the story of PAX as told through T-shirts, a numerical photo essay, we interrogate a poor guy at the Wizards of the Coast booth about D&D 4th edition, and we almost get free drinks and sandwiches twice. What more could you ask for?
Maybe a picture of this guy. I'm sorry. I left my camera in the hotel room most of the weekend, and I didn't realize who he was until it was too late. Mr. Bile, I don't suppose you managed to track down Phoenix Wright and his archenemy in the waning hours of PAX?
Is anyone else going to the Penny Arcade Expo? If so, we need to talk before hotel reservations are finalized. Like, stat.
For those of you unfamiliar with the con, it's the annual gaming event put together by the guys at Penny Arcade. There are video game tournaments for those so inclined, and exhibitors offering first or second looks at their upcoming titles. But Mr. Bile and I are more about the music. In addition to PAX alumni MC Frontalot, the NESkimos, and Optimus Rhyme (non-embarrassing nerdcore hip-hop, heavy metal covers of video game music, and a rockin' live band, respectively), this year's lineup includes Freezepop, who you might know from bonus tracks on Guitar Hero I and II, and Jonathan Coulton, the man who brought you "Code Monkey", "Re: Your Brains," and a folk-rock cover of "Baby Got Back."
There's also a very friendly open-gaming room and the Omegathon, where randomly selected attendees compete in front of an audience of 20,000+ in tabletop and videogame challenges. Last year's contest included pre-release Guitar Hero II tracks and Tetris. I'm no prognosticator, but something tells me Carcassone or Catan might be involved this time around. At least, I hope so, because my name is in the hat.
Oh, and Will Wheaton will be there, if you're into that kind of thing. And by that kind of thing, I don't know what I mean. I can only assume that if an appearance by Will Wheaton whets your appetite, you have your reasons.
So there you have it. Several perfectly good reasons to vacation in Seattle the weekend before Labor Day, even if you've never heard of the Fruit Fucker 2000.
