Cosdoom

Re: Costume Option Analysis For Halloween 2007
from: Brain Gremlin

Narraptor, below is our feasibility/recognition analysis report on your costume options for Halloween 2007. I was disappointed to see "crazy mogwai" was not on your initial request form when you submitted it 6 months ago. Perhaps you'd be willing to consider this option next year?

I'm going as Tony Randall, myself. Cheers.

Sexy Witch
Supplies required: Sexy witch outfit, sexy witch hat, sexy boots, sexy stockings, perhaps a suggestive wand
Pro: You'd make a very sexy witch
Con: You'd make a very sexy witch
Recommendation: Vetoed by wife

Dr. Gaius Baltar
Supplies required: Depends on the season. Either a lab coat, a suit, or a prison uniform. "I'm a scientist!" glasses optional. Ability to look like you're always about to cry mandatory. Brown locks or Jesus/Charles Manson beard dependent on episode.
Pro: It's Gaius frakkin' Baltar! And good motivation to buy a new suit.
Con: "Battle...what? Gay who? I don't know that that is."
Recommendation: You'd be better off going as Locke or Sayid.

Mr. David Nelson
Supplies required: An unfortunate suit. Short orange hair. White.
Pro: You need a haircut.
Con: "News...what?"
Recommendation: Unless you have a friend willing to dye his hair orange and go as Bill McNeil, this is the wrong reason to get a haircut.

Mr. Vampire
Supplies required: Chinese vampire clothes (robe, hat, beads, shoes, pants, tabard), nails, fangs, and makeup
Pro: Dude!
Con: "Mr... what?" The only people who know who Mr. Vampire is are people who you lent the movie to. Every set of fangs you buy you won't be able to wear. You've never applied makeup in your life. Your hair is too long and the wrong color. You don't have contacts. Hopping up a spiral staircase is a bad idea.
Recommendation: Approved.

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Post Halloween Costume Report For Halloween 2007
from: Narraptor

Costume Chosen: Mr. Vampire

Supplies Used: Chinese vampire clothes (robe, hat, shoes, pants--accidentally left beads at home) and makeup. No fangs or nails. First pair of fangs would screw up dental work, replacement pair exceeded gum line. Nails would make driving in the dark difficult.

Positive Responses: Looked cool when posing for photos while sticking arms out and making vampire faces. Weird people got it when the opportunity to hop presented itself. My Pal Skipp appreciated the effort.

Recognition Percentage: "Are you a bishop?" "Are you a cardinal?" "Are you a mandarin?" "Are you a mandarin zombie?" "Are you the guy from Mulan?" "Are you Chinese...guy?"

Final Analysis: At one party I attended in costume, a woman wearing a full-on Wonder Woman outfit with a W on the front was repeatedly addressed as "Supergirl." Even if you go mainstream, you just can't win. Success by default.

Please begin research for next year. I expect a report in 8 months on the following options: Sexy Vietnamese Woman, Guy With Tentacles, Lodz, Annoying Guy Who Goes Around And Asks People With Obvious Costumes Who They're Supposed To Be.