Re: Costume Option Analysis For Halloween 2007
from: Brain Gremlin
Narraptor, below is our feasibility/recognition analysis report on your costume options for Halloween 2007. I was disappointed to see "crazy mogwai" was not on your initial request form when you submitted it 6 months ago. Perhaps you'd be willing to consider this option next year?
I'm going as Tony Randall, myself. Cheers.
Sexy Witch
Supplies required: Sexy witch outfit, sexy witch hat, sexy boots, sexy stockings, perhaps a suggestive wand
Pro: You'd make a very sexy witch
Con: You'd make a very sexy witch
Recommendation: Vetoed by wife
Dr. Gaius Baltar
Supplies required: Depends on the season. Either a lab coat, a suit, or a prison uniform. "I'm a scientist!" glasses optional. Ability to look like you're always about to cry mandatory. Brown locks or Jesus/Charles Manson beard dependent on episode.
Pro: It's Gaius frakkin' Baltar! And good motivation to buy a new suit.
Con: "Battle...what? Gay who? I don't know that that is."
Recommendation: You'd be better off going as Locke or Sayid.
Mr. David Nelson
Supplies required: An unfortunate suit. Short orange hair. White.
Pro: You need a haircut.
Con: "News...what?"
Recommendation: Unless you have a friend willing to dye his hair orange and go as Bill McNeil, this is the wrong reason to get a haircut.
Mr. Vampire
Supplies required: Chinese vampire clothes (robe, hat, beads, shoes, pants, tabard), nails, fangs, and makeup
Pro: Dude!
Con: "Mr... what?" The only people who know who Mr. Vampire is are people who you lent the movie to. Every set of fangs you buy you won't be able to wear. You've never applied makeup in your life. Your hair is too long and the wrong color. You don't have contacts. Hopping up a spiral staircase is a bad idea.
Recommendation: Approved.
Post Halloween Costume Report For Halloween 2007
from: Narraptor
Costume Chosen: Mr. Vampire
Supplies Used: Chinese vampire clothes (robe, hat, shoes, pants--accidentally left beads at home) and makeup. No fangs or nails. First pair of fangs would screw up dental work, replacement pair exceeded gum line. Nails would make driving in the dark difficult.
Positive Responses: Looked cool when posing for photos while sticking arms out and making vampire faces. Weird people got it when the opportunity to hop presented itself. My Pal Skipp appreciated the effort.
Recognition Percentage: "Are you a bishop?" "Are you a cardinal?" "Are you a mandarin?" "Are you a mandarin zombie?" "Are you the guy from Mulan?" "Are you Chinese...guy?"
Final Analysis: At one party I attended in costume, a woman wearing a full-on Wonder Woman outfit with a W on the front was repeatedly addressed as "Supergirl." Even if you go mainstream, you just can't win. Success by default.
Please begin research for next year. I expect a report in 8 months on the following options: Sexy Vietnamese Woman, Guy With Tentacles, Lodz, Annoying Guy Who Goes Around And Asks People With Obvious Costumes Who They're Supposed To Be.
Showing posts with label skipp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label skipp. Show all posts
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
April Ambition
Too many good things have been happening. Get an axe.
My Pal Skipp finally posted his movie on-line, and web-savvy readers can surely find Jake's Wake if they enter the proper Google fu stance. Last weekend he tied for a Stoker, the Kid's Choice Award of the Horror Writers Association, splitting Superior Achievement in an Anthology with Joe R. Lansdale, which can only mean a six-gun standoff at dawn. Assuming Skipp survives, he can put "Stoker Award Winner" over his byline for the next 50 years. Hopefully this will encourage people who make book jackets to bring his paperbacks back into print.
Then last week I heard from an old friend I had lost touch with. A movie she worked on recently entered limited release--Journey From The Fall. I have yet to see it myself, and it probably falls out of the general interest of our 8-strong and growing target demographic, but I'm happy for her. As it turns out, she's been living in LA for the past few years, so I now have one more party member for my schedule to conflict with.
Finally, an associate of mine fulfilled his rock star checklist on Saturday by playing at the Whisky A Go Go. It's one of those famous clubs you know about if you know anything about rock. If you're like me, you vaguely remember it from a Behind the Music episode. A lazy Wikipedia search reveals that you probably like at least one band that made a name for themselves there. So it's a life goal complete, and I remember his set being good. (I'm pretty sure about that. The bartenders were a bit generous that night.)
Seeing my friends revel in their accomplishments, I couldn't help but be inspired to work on my own goals.
I haven't beaten a videogame since We Heart Katamari. This month, I will guide a transsexual high elf to glory.
My Pal Skipp finally posted his movie on-line, and web-savvy readers can surely find Jake's Wake if they enter the proper Google fu stance. Last weekend he tied for a Stoker, the Kid's Choice Award of the Horror Writers Association, splitting Superior Achievement in an Anthology with Joe R. Lansdale, which can only mean a six-gun standoff at dawn. Assuming Skipp survives, he can put "Stoker Award Winner" over his byline for the next 50 years. Hopefully this will encourage people who make book jackets to bring his paperbacks back into print.
Then last week I heard from an old friend I had lost touch with. A movie she worked on recently entered limited release--Journey From The Fall. I have yet to see it myself, and it probably falls out of the general interest of our 8-strong and growing target demographic, but I'm happy for her. As it turns out, she's been living in LA for the past few years, so I now have one more party member for my schedule to conflict with.
Finally, an associate of mine fulfilled his rock star checklist on Saturday by playing at the Whisky A Go Go. It's one of those famous clubs you know about if you know anything about rock. If you're like me, you vaguely remember it from a Behind the Music episode. A lazy Wikipedia search reveals that you probably like at least one band that made a name for themselves there. So it's a life goal complete, and I remember his set being good. (I'm pretty sure about that. The bartenders were a bit generous that night.)
Seeing my friends revel in their accomplishments, I couldn't help but be inspired to work on my own goals.
I haven't beaten a videogame since We Heart Katamari. This month, I will guide a transsexual high elf to glory.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Jake's Wake Is Coming
Three things I want to note before delving into my rant: One, the previous Lost post can be read by anyone who already knows that Mr. Eko is dead or doesn't know who he is, in case the "it was all a dream" tag wasn't enough of a tip-off. Two, My Pal Skipp's short will be linked here as soon as it is available on the Internet. And three, though our spoiler policy is clear, our "you'll never watch this show again if you know this" policy is not. So I'll warn you that if you intend to keep watching Battlestar Galactica because you crave disappointment, please, don't read any further.
Here is an extra line in case you read fast. I hope you're reading this on purpose, because you've probably already seen the word below in quotes.
I watched Battlestar Galactica Sunday night. The one where Starbuck "died."
I'm done.
I'll keep watching until the pajama trial of Baltar, and maybe check out the made for Sci-Fi channel summer movie and the first two episodes next season just for a laugh. But I'm done.
I tried to embrace Mr. Bile's "one episode at a time theory for Battlestar enjoyment." But when it comes down to it, BSG is not Lost and I can't watch it as if it were.
Think what you will about Lost's refusal to answer lingering mysteries or advance the island plot, but it's held true to the series' premise. Each episode is tied into a single character's past. Whether that actually advances the timeline or explains why that character is doing the same thing over and over again, the conceit has been remarkably consistent. And since the themes of the show are predestiny, people's inability to change, and fate vs. free will, it works.
Battlestar is a different type of show. It began as a wanna-be pilot/mini-series and developed into a tight 13-episode first season with an ensemble cast. But over the course of the bloated second and third seasons, the majority of episodes seemed as if they were written for network sweeps. With the exception of two-part finales or plot arc epilogues, episodes increasingly focused on only one or two characters. Flashbacks became commonplace, rewriting what we knew, and the metaplot, when acknowledged, was presented as a clip show.
BSG forgot it was an ensemble show. All the interesting characters have either been written out, ignored, or turned to cardboard. Not only am I supposed to believe that Starbuck flew into a colored space hole to "die" just because, but Adama reacts like a spoiled teenager afterwards and breaks his favorite toy?
Get back to me 10 years from now when Chris Carter comes out of retirement to make the re-re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica, and I can get my hopes up and have them dashed all over again courtesy of Lance Henriksen.
Here is an extra line in case you read fast. I hope you're reading this on purpose, because you've probably already seen the word below in quotes.
I watched Battlestar Galactica Sunday night. The one where Starbuck "died."
I'm done.
I'll keep watching until the pajama trial of Baltar, and maybe check out the made for Sci-Fi channel summer movie and the first two episodes next season just for a laugh. But I'm done.
I tried to embrace Mr. Bile's "one episode at a time theory for Battlestar enjoyment." But when it comes down to it, BSG is not Lost and I can't watch it as if it were.
Think what you will about Lost's refusal to answer lingering mysteries or advance the island plot, but it's held true to the series' premise. Each episode is tied into a single character's past. Whether that actually advances the timeline or explains why that character is doing the same thing over and over again, the conceit has been remarkably consistent. And since the themes of the show are predestiny, people's inability to change, and fate vs. free will, it works.
Battlestar is a different type of show. It began as a wanna-be pilot/mini-series and developed into a tight 13-episode first season with an ensemble cast. But over the course of the bloated second and third seasons, the majority of episodes seemed as if they were written for network sweeps. With the exception of two-part finales or plot arc epilogues, episodes increasingly focused on only one or two characters. Flashbacks became commonplace, rewriting what we knew, and the metaplot, when acknowledged, was presented as a clip show.
BSG forgot it was an ensemble show. All the interesting characters have either been written out, ignored, or turned to cardboard. Not only am I supposed to believe that Starbuck flew into a colored space hole to "die" just because, but Adama reacts like a spoiled teenager afterwards and breaks his favorite toy?
Get back to me 10 years from now when Chris Carter comes out of retirement to make the re-re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica, and I can get my hopes up and have them dashed all over again courtesy of Lance Henriksen.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Average Size For, You Know, White Text
My Pal Skipp (recently promoted from "That Guy Skipp," thanks to this suggestion) said he would like to read more of our blog, but it hurts his eyes. I hope he only meant that the text was a bit too small for his jaded peepers.
Cover one eye and tell me if you can read the following:
4 8 15 16 23 42
Personally, I like the look of Small Trebuchet, but I can deal with Arial Normal as it's the only constructive criticism we've received so far. I think the Halloween colors might be screwing with my eyes as well, and I'm open to suggestions on readable color combinations other than black text on an empty white plain of contentlessness.
(Edit: I have gone back and changed as many previous posts as I could to fit the current font scheme. Due to complications with the template, this did not always work, but the majority of articles posted previous to this installment are now readable.)
Cover one eye and tell me if you can read the following:
4 8 15 16 23 42
Personally, I like the look of Small Trebuchet, but I can deal with Arial Normal as it's the only constructive criticism we've received so far. I think the Halloween colors might be screwing with my eyes as well, and I'm open to suggestions on readable color combinations other than black text on an empty white plain of contentlessness.
(Edit: I have gone back and changed as many previous posts as I could to fit the current font scheme. Due to complications with the template, this did not always work, but the majority of articles posted previous to this installment are now readable.)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Things Which I Do Not Know How to Speak Aloud
In all fairness, my favorite monsters should be gremlins, as they not only provided inspiration for the title of this blog, but lead me to seek out my current occupation as a bulldozer driver. If not gremlins, then vampires, as without them I would have a lot less to make fun of. And as much as I'd enjoy meeting a beholder in a fedora or being abducted by mind flayers, they aren't, you know, real. (Take that, eighth-grade English teacher.)
It's slightly embarrassing to admit that my favorite monster is one I know very little about. Several Google searches proved that I didn't even know how to spell its name properly, much less pronounce it. My initial investigation kept bringing me back to boots.
I first learned of the penanggalan (or penanggal) from a Ravenloft Monstrous Compendium, so my initial understanding of the creature was likely a bit sanitized. Commonly classified in America as a Malaysian vampire, a penanggalan is actually a normal woman placed under a curse. At night she separates her head from her body, flies through the treetops, and looks for newborns and placenta to eat. The penanggalan's entrails hang from its neck, and some accounts say that these may be used to grab victims or perform common tasks like programming VCRs. But the dangling viscera are also the monster's weakness. An expectant mother will leave sharp branches and thorns around her home to prevent penanggalan from sneaking in and sucking the fetus directly out of her womb.
Go ahead. Click on that and see what happens.
After doing a little non-role-playing research, it's no surprise penanggalan have always fascinated me. For one thing, they scream whenever children are born. Some of them have Hong Kong action hair. They're difficult to spell. And for a monster this horrible, they're ridiculously underexposed.
I'm sure That Guy Skipp could recommend several short stories about penanggalan, but that's not my point. For me, the coolest monsters are the most unfamiliar. It's hard to take C'thulhu and the horrible realizations of man's universal insignificance you can see in his eye seriously when that eye keeps falling off your 13" C'thulhu Santa. The penanggalan is a weird, rare, disturbing monster that even if it could be classified a vampire, is not one you'd want to have sex with.
It's slightly embarrassing to admit that my favorite monster is one I know very little about. Several Google searches proved that I didn't even know how to spell its name properly, much less pronounce it. My initial investigation kept bringing me back to boots.
I first learned of the penanggalan (or penanggal) from a Ravenloft Monstrous Compendium, so my initial understanding of the creature was likely a bit sanitized. Commonly classified in America as a Malaysian vampire, a penanggalan is actually a normal woman placed under a curse. At night she separates her head from her body, flies through the treetops, and looks for newborns and placenta to eat. The penanggalan's entrails hang from its neck, and some accounts say that these may be used to grab victims or perform common tasks like programming VCRs. But the dangling viscera are also the monster's weakness. An expectant mother will leave sharp branches and thorns around her home to prevent penanggalan from sneaking in and sucking the fetus directly out of her womb.
Go ahead. Click on that and see what happens.
After doing a little non-role-playing research, it's no surprise penanggalan have always fascinated me. For one thing, they scream whenever children are born. Some of them have Hong Kong action hair. They're difficult to spell. And for a monster this horrible, they're ridiculously underexposed.
I'm sure That Guy Skipp could recommend several short stories about penanggalan, but that's not my point. For me, the coolest monsters are the most unfamiliar. It's hard to take C'thulhu and the horrible realizations of man's universal insignificance you can see in his eye seriously when that eye keeps falling off your 13" C'thulhu Santa. The penanggalan is a weird, rare, disturbing monster that even if it could be classified a vampire, is not one you'd want to have sex with.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
You Can't Mount Here
Chillin' with my west coast guild members today before D&D, it looks like everyone I know is ready to bail on WoW. I feel guilty for never running a real raid on Feathermoon, but after learning that, I'm currently auctioning off all my virtual stuff. Does anyone need sungrass? I have Stormwind minimized as I write this. I am the hot chick by the mailbox.
I have more to say on how trying out a Massively Multiplayer Treadmill destroyed my enjoyment of levelling up characters. I'll be back to discuss it in full. My purpose at the moment is to switch the focus of this blog to something other than television. I have two challenges to encourage this change in direction.
Halloween is approaching, and I think this would be a good time to discuss our favorite monsters and why. Shall we say by Thursday? And That Guy Skipp (downgraded from "My Pal," a title which has yet to be reinstated) mentioned an experiment on Storytellers Unplugged that I think we should steal. They are posting their old scary stories over there. I have one from third grade I can share. Are you in?
One final note, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to respond to blog posts on my own site in the comments sections or not. Let's say I wanted to call Mr. Bile out for writing "Never do this" and bolding it. If I want to ask him why (it's working for them so far) or to challenge his formatting ("Dude, what's with the bold? I don't use bold.") where am I supposed to put that?
I'm all for the Penny Arcade passive-aggressive fictional posts myself. Also, I think we both need to cut down on the number of words in our titles...or change the font size.
I have more to say on how trying out a Massively Multiplayer Treadmill destroyed my enjoyment of levelling up characters. I'll be back to discuss it in full. My purpose at the moment is to switch the focus of this blog to something other than television. I have two challenges to encourage this change in direction.
Halloween is approaching, and I think this would be a good time to discuss our favorite monsters and why. Shall we say by Thursday? And That Guy Skipp (downgraded from "My Pal," a title which has yet to be reinstated) mentioned an experiment on Storytellers Unplugged that I think we should steal. They are posting their old scary stories over there. I have one from third grade I can share. Are you in?
One final note, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to respond to blog posts on my own site in the comments sections or not. Let's say I wanted to call Mr. Bile out for writing "Never do this" and bolding it. If I want to ask him why (it's working for them so far) or to challenge his formatting ("Dude, what's with the bold? I don't use bold.") where am I supposed to put that?
I'm all for the Penny Arcade passive-aggressive fictional posts myself. Also, I think we both need to cut down on the number of words in our titles...or change the font size.
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