What The Frell?

It was not too long ago that I praised BSG as one of the best shows in season on television. At the beginning of season 3, I could not praise it highly enough. Now I've turned into an "each week is the worst episode ever" fan. What the frell happened?

The easy answer is M.A.N.T.I.S. But that is a disservice to Carl Lumbly, who I can only hope pops up in a Lost flashback sometime soon, since BSG obviously needs multiple black characters as much as it needs a bitter aerospace engineer.

The seeds of suck were already apparent in the first post-New Caprica episodes, and more observant friends of mine noticed dramatic changes in the dialogue as early as episode 2. Things have only worsened since then, with characters stating things we already know ("I know how it feels to lose a child"), expositing things that were just made up ("You know, my dad was really into the faith"), and anything that comes out of Callie's mouth. Don't be surprised if the next episode opens with Callie saying, "You know, Chief, assuming we live through this, I'll finally get that haircut I've been talking about."

I am usually the last person to conclude that a show has been raped by a panda, but when the dialogue goes to hell, that's a bad sign. I remember my shock at X-Files season 7, the one where they were "getting back to their roots." Mulder stopped talking like Mulder, and Scully and Skinner--Skinner!--did likewise. In the most recent episodes of BSG, conversations just seem too scripted. To mine the mid-season finale for examples: the giving up Baltar scene, the Sharon-Boomer confrontation, Helo's speech to Adama about Hera...

Watching those play out, I felt like I was watching TV. Or even worse, Battlestar Galactica the play.

The turning point for me was the boxing episode, which I still believe to be the best worst episode ever. It was worth it to see Chief get punched in the face and for the subtle acknowledgment that he does realize that, dude, Sharon is totally hot, Helo's a boring jock who doesn't deserve her, and Callie cares too much about their baby to do something with her bangs. But the story didn't make any sense. You have so few humans you outlaw abortion, but free-for-all boxing is okay? And the writers doubted our ability to get the point so much that it was delivered via metaphor, flashback, and monologue. Wasn't this supposed to be a smart person's show?

It's not like I never suspected this would happen. I knew something would go wrong when the series became popular enough to warrant 20-plus episodes a year instead of 12. People I trust have several interesting theories about where the show went astray or why it has yet to do so. One thinks they should have kept the conceit from "33", with the Cylons constantly chasing the humans towards Earth. And as far as I know, Mr. Bile still holds faith that the show's first and last episodes each season will totally kick ass. Allow me to present a different perspective, based in part on listening to 40 minutes of the BSG writer's meeting podcasts I previously linked.

1. There is no frelling plan.

2. The writers introduce concepts with no concern for their long-term impact. Remember when Cylons' spines turned red when they were having sex? Sure, maybe Boomer subconsciously always wanted to be on top so no one would notice. But after it turned out the Pegasus guys were having their way with a Six, it never came up again. Don't you think someone would have mentioned it as the ultimate Cylon detector? For that matter, does it happen with Cylon dudes as well?

3. The show lost its edge when they allowed a Six to off Admiral Cain. Having Starbuck back off from Galactica's assassination attempt wasn't a cop-out until an NPC shot her in the head. Introducing Cain as Adama's superior, electing Baltar as President, these were the most promising conflicts in the series after the first season Adama/Roslyn battles. Why kill them off/make them impotent just when things are getting interesting? For that matter, where the hell is Zarek?