PAX?

Is anyone else going to the Penny Arcade Expo? If so, we need to talk before hotel reservations are finalized. Like, stat.

For those of you unfamiliar with the con, it's the annual gaming event put together by the guys at Penny Arcade. There are video game tournaments for those so inclined, and exhibitors offering first or second looks at their upcoming titles. But Mr. Bile and I are more about the music. In addition to PAX alumni MC Frontalot, the NESkimos, and Optimus Rhyme (non-embarrassing nerdcore hip-hop, heavy metal covers of video game music, and a rockin' live band, respectively), this year's lineup includes Freezepop, who you might know from bonus tracks on Guitar Hero I and II, and Jonathan Coulton, the man who brought you "Code Monkey", "Re: Your Brains," and a folk-rock cover of "Baby Got Back."

There's also a very friendly open-gaming room and the Omegathon, where randomly selected attendees compete in front of an audience of 20,000+ in tabletop and videogame challenges. Last year's contest included pre-release Guitar Hero II tracks and Tetris. I'm no prognosticator, but something tells me Carcassone or Catan might be involved this time around. At least, I hope so, because my name is in the hat.

Oh, and Will Wheaton will be there, if you're into that kind of thing. And by that kind of thing, I don't know what I mean. I can only assume that if an appearance by Will Wheaton whets your appetite, you have your reasons.

So there you have it. Several perfectly good reasons to vacation in Seattle the weekend before Labor Day, even if you've never heard of the Fruit Fucker 2000.

Five From The Other Side

If you were happy to read a list last year, then I'm hoping you'll be overjoyed to start the new year with another top five list, containing 80% original material.

5: "God Help You Dumb Boy" (Our Lady Of The Broken Spine, Reverend Glasseye And His Wooden Legs) I have a soft spot in my heart for fake Western music. This year, it comes from In a right and proper world, Emo music would sound like this.

4: "They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!" (Illinoise, Sufian Stevens) This might be the first album in a long time I had to listen to just to see why so many people hated it. Its godawfully long titles are matched by surprisingly fun hooks. However, this song does lose points for only using zombies as a metaphor. If I'm not impressed when George Romero does that, why should I take it from Stevens?

3: RE: Your Brains (Jonathan Coulton) I was tempted to go with Creepy Doll, just to be different. The trouble is, I don't catch myself singing along to Creepy Doll, and I do chant along to the zombies.

2: "Hard Rock Hallelujah" (The Arockalypse, Lordi) Not only does Lordi destroy cheerleaders, they can also bring them back from the dead. More importantly, they can bring me out of my slumbering, which is something my alarm clock can no longer manage. Lordi is also a good choice to one up Guar lovers.

1: "Sex Changes" (Yes Virgina, The Dresden Dolls,) I've had my fill of buying CD's that just make me think how much better it would sound live. So while I was happy with the Dresden Doll's first two albums, I was really waiting for their music to get a nice shiny coat of studio gloss. Yes Virginia provided a nice varnish, and an increased number of fast numbers to make the miles fly by.

As for cheating, I'll direct your attention to Dr. Steel, Gogol Bordello, Khate, and Twink. Also, I'm just going to assume Tom Wait's Big Box Of B-Sides would have been one of my favorites of last year, if I had known it had been released then.

An End of the Year Music List

I hate lists. I think they're easy, useless, and resent paying for them. It infuriates me to see magazines and newspapers publishing lists of the best games/TV shows/movies/books/comics/plays of the year (or ever). And don't get me started about lists on podcasts. Yes, GeeksOn was the first place I ever heard about the Necronomicon pillow, but I just don't give a crap about what characters readers would cast the writers of TV Guide as in Buffy or Grey's Anatomy.

But here at CF&S, we're writing text for the Internet, where we don't get paid to make lists and you don't have to pay anything to read them. For me, that makes the phenomenon tolerable. And it wouldn't look like the last week of the year on a web site without a list, would it? So here's mine, The Top 5 Songs I First Heard This Year That Still Bliss Me Out.

5. "ReYourBrains" (Thing A Week Two, Jonathan Coulton)

Mmm, brains. Like most of the songs on this list, this was a toss-up. Coulton's better-known single, "Code Monkey," manages to rock and be surprisingly sweet at the same time. But this is the song that I bought the T-shirt for, and I have never bought a music T-shirt in my life.

4. "In This Together" (You and Me Against the World, Apoptygma Berzerk)

Completeing their journey from synthpop to dance to rock, Apop finally fulfilled Mr. Bile's hopes and released a studio album with the same energy as their live one. The whole album makes me feel happy, but this song in particular has a "played over the end credits of a movie with shots of the main characters dancing" feeling that I really dig. Check out the real version yourself, because you'll only hear the dance remix at goth roller-skating night.

3. "Nursehellamentary" (Rhyme Torrents Volume I, Nursehella)

This was the year I was forcibly exposed to nerdcore, and surprisingly, I liked it. With both MC Frontalot and Weird Al in the mix, it was hard to choose just one nerdcore song to put on this list. I picked Nursehella because she embraced the braggadocio popular in non-nerd rap without mocking it or using it as an excuse for white-boy misogyny. The lyrics are actually kind of hot. My decision was cemented when I checked out her My Space profile, where she describes herself like a sexy Tycho Brahe would.

2. "Night of the Vampire" (Gremlins Have Pictures, Roky Erickson)

Sometimes not finding what you put into the search bar on iTunes has its rewards. I don't even know what subgenre this is. What I do know is that gets stuck in your head, evokes a cool mental picture, and has great misheard lyrics. I stand in the darkness with no porn.

1. "The New Kid" (Drag It Up, The Old '97s)

Another toss-up. Slither has an awesome, thematically appropriate soundtrack. But the Yayhoo's "Baby I Love You" seems to strike a nerve with some women, so "The New Kid" it is. And, yes, it is alt-country.

Most of the above are available for sampling and download via iTunes. "ReYourBrains," "Code Monkey," and other Jonathan Coulton songs may still be available there for free if you subscribe to his podcast. "Nursehellamentary" can be heard in full here.

The usual cheating honorary mentions go to Bear McCreary, The NESkimos, The Oddz, the aforementioned MC Frontalot, MC Hawking, and Rappy McRapperson. Oh, and Lordi. They destroy cheerleaders.