Go Forth And Read Other Blogs

Events are in motion. My journey into Oblivion has progressed in level, though not in depth. As a byproduct of my heroism, my fingers have petitioned for a break from the land of Cyrodiil, and the keyboard and mouse in general.

Serendipitously, this is a convenient time for a Real Life vacation, as I am prepping for Mr. Bile's west coast tour and a bout of paranoia, both of which I will elaborate upon in the days to come. In the meantime, allow me to suggest some other blogs to help you through your workday. All are guaranteed to have distracted me for 5 minutes or more.

Graphpaper.com
This is what our blog would look like if I remembered anything about graphic design and HTML. Just be glad I don't retain any skill solely in the latter, otherwise our background would be neon green and the text yellow and flashing. I really wish I had thought of a graph paper background before running across this site. I must find some other form of innocuous, underused material to pattern Canned Food and Shotguns on. Canned food labels perhaps?

Is This Thing On?
I was directed to Jan Burke's blog on the recommendation of Keith Snyder, un-mystery author and Renaissance Man. Keith's a vocal opponent of print-on-demand authorship and the vanity press, and Burke, a mystery writer herself, recently wrote a series of posts on the subject. Her reasons for who should take advantage of such services are particularly interesting ("So you're going to die..."). Browsing through her site, it's the most consistently interesting solitary author blog I've encountered. Her essay on the detective as serial interviewer is what won me over.

Natalie Goes To Japan
I'm just jealous that I don't get to pass angry kappa on my way to work. It makes me wish I could have a midlife crisis so I can move to a cool foreign country and have something to blog about every day. All I see is the 405, the office, and if I'm lucky, some guy in a parking lot yelling, "What the fuck are you doing with my weed!" Ah, Starbucks.

Feed The Spiders
This would make more sense if I could find the ant blog that supposedly inspired it. Casual research suggests that it no longer exists.

Enjoy these fine blogs in the event that I am otherwise preoccupied with houseguests, laundry, and what promises to be a damn fine week of television and live performances.

Viewed: I Think I Love My Wife

I'm pretty sure I saw this movie. I just can't remember any lines from it. It was St. Patrick's day, after all, and I celebrated in the traditional Irish way, off-brand Dharma initiative wine, an expensive Japanese dinner, and high quality sake. I went to a restaurant where they pour the sake so it overflows onto a plate on purpose. This, I was told, is how it is traditionally done in Japan.

Really, who am I supposed to trust? Me and my personal experiences in Japan, a magical land where kitsune and cosplay girls were always presenting me with tiny amounts of alcohol and the concept of fusing Jack Daniels and Coke confuses the general populace, or an overpriced LA restaurant with the sake equivalent of a Big Gulp?

I would not normally go to a theater to see a comedy I expected to be less than stellar (see the forthcoming review of Hot Fuzz), but my wife was in the mood to laugh, and again, sake was involved. Conveniently, there happened to be a showing of the new Chris Rock movie right after we finished our dinner.

Though my memory of the film is fuzzy, I think the reviewers were somewhat harsh. I Think I Love My Wife is a thoroughly modern megaplex comedy. Jokes are thrown against the screen in the hopes that a third of them will stick. There are safe "Married life means no sex" jokes everyone can feel laugh at. ("That's true! We're so lame!") There's an extended Viagra gag for you to enjoy or avert your ears during--your choice. And there are throwaway bitter asides that you might not laugh at if you're on a date.

My wife and I were the only people in the theater to audibly appreciate the latter. As this became more apparent, I laughed harder and louder on purpose, calling attention to the couples in the audience that, "HA! I'm in a relationship where I can laugh at that without consequences!" It was opening night of the Dungeons & Dragons movie all over again, except this time no one told me to be quiet, and I Think I Love My Wife, when it is funny, is funny on purpose.

It was an interesting social experiment, and I think critics would have liked it more if they had lowered their standards or drank a plate of sake beforehand.

It does have its problems, though. I was a bit confused as to why Chris Rock would be tempted by a woman whose only good quality was that she dated guys from The Wire. But given the murmurs of approval from the men in the audience whenever she did something desperately slutty, Kerry Washington has ineffable qualities that make one forget about Gina Torres. And then there was the ending. When given the chance to consummate his affair with the other woman, Chris Rock went as far as removing her panties before remembering that he had kids, at which point he went fleeing back to his wife. That scene destroyed all suspension of disbelief, but my wife insists that the woman sitting next to her was clapping at that point.

I thought everyone was booing with me.

Sometimes I just appreciate films on a different level than everyone else.