Six Paragraph Prologue

I have been going through all our old posts adding tags and embiggening the font when necessary. Battlestar Galactica-related posts lead with 11 tags, role-playing and board games tie at 5, and monsters have 4. With the exception of the subject of this post, everything else comes in at 3 or less, but this will probably change when I assign Mr. Bile to give our archives a once over. (Why isn't The Night You'd Never Forget tagged under "haunted house"? It was late and I was tired.)

Afterwards, we will compile a list of all the tags used only once and call for a vote on what topics should be expanded upon and by whom. I expect essays on beings of pure energy, the Frogtown barrier, and "..." to be high on our list of reader requests. But what do I know? I received no phone calls, comments, or e-mails about the state of my emotional health after posting this.

It's actually been a week of nightmares, but I think it has to do with the season. The "winter" months in Los Angeles not only give me reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, there's also too much goddamn sunlight coming in my window at 8 in the morning. Bright light! It tastes like burning! Et cetera.

Going through the tags, it makes me sad that Lost has only been addressed in a significant way 7 times. But I guess it makes sense. There have only been 8 episodes so far this season, and I extended my original spoiler embargo out of respect for Mr. Bile.

Actually, respect had nothing to do with it. What sort of insane person sits on addictive serial entertainment when they can down a fifth of cliffhangers in less than 24 hours? I was just being patient out of habit. That's all out the window now. Though he might be able to avoid reading my posts about the latest episodes, I can spoil plot twists faster than he can hang up the phone.

I've also held back on Lost love for the same reason I haven't written about Battlestar Galactica in the last two weeks. I'd rather create a blog for no one in particular than for one specific fanbase. (Yes, I know this doesn't equate to success, but it's what I want out my Internet media.) But as all the media attention focuses on "Urh, this smart show that requires people to remember what happened four episodes ago is losing viewers," and people are getting paid to not understand it on purpose, I think it's time someone stepped up with an eloquent defense before the first show to get halfway through completing its epic mystery died of viewer apathy.

CANNED FOOD AND SHOTGUNS

The NYT Can FOATALWOASP

I wanted to write about Lost last night, but I didn't get around to seeing the first new episode of its 16-week uninterrupted run until 2 AM. And when I went on-line to read and blog about it, I got mad. But I didn't want to write a post titled "The New York Times Can Do Some Stuff And Expire." So I took a day to put things into perspective.

The New York Times can Take A Long Walk Off A Short Pier.

The Hater, my ideological counterpart at The Onion AV Club and pop-intellectual hottie, first brought this item to my attention. You can read the full New York Times review she eviscerates on-line. The majority of NYT content is available on the web for free, which is all any self-respecting genre fan should pay to read it from here on out, unless they actually happen to be anti-abortion activists.

(If you skipped both of those links because this started out about Lost and you either haven't seen it or dislike the show for some reason which is not insane, I urge you to reconsider. The NYT author was too bored with the show to even get the details right, so she spent most of her time ranting about Heroes, Battlestar Galactica, supernatural-lite shows like Medium and The Ghost Whisperer, and comics, fantasy, and sci-fi in general. And for you hardcore fans, I'm sure she would have mentioned Firefly, Farscape, or Buffy if she even knew what they were. You know, if they were an "in" elitist thing to rip on.)

I've waged an active campaign against anti-nerd bias in print media for the last few years. As World of Warcraft, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, videogames, and nerdiest of all, teh Interweb, are embraced worldwide, it rankles me when mainstream outlets pay writers who fall back on outdated stereotypes:

"Lost” is at heart a science-fiction thriller, while “Heroes” is more of a comic book, but both genres have a similar appeal: they provide an alternative society for those who don’t fit comfortably into their own. (That is to say, smart, socially awkward adults and all 12-year-old boys.) [NYT excerpt by Alessandra Stanley]

Wait. Television shows with superheroes, epic mysteries, real-world political analogues that feature evil robots, and supernatural procedurals are so popular that you can write about them for a national newspaper, but they are only of interest to pre-teen boys and nerdy adults? Who's really wishing for an alternative society here? For that matter, if a TV show appeals to smart adults, then it has to be smart, too, right?

The NYT can FOATALWOASP. If I want to read uninformed opinions about high-quality genre fiction that requires you to turn your brain on, I can get on the Internet. No one should be paid to be this stupid.

(Edit: I have a lot to say on the subject of ignorant genre criticism, perhaps too much for this post. This article has undergone several edits, and more are anticipated. I refuse, however, to go back and italicize "New York Times.")

Getting Lost

The mini-season of Lost has come to an end, with no new episodes until February. I understand a few million viewers found themselves underwhelmed at the beginning of the season. I hope they're still paying attention.

The writers were faced with an unusual dilemma this season. Last year, ABC frustrated viewers with an erratic schedule, leaving the show off the air for weeks at a time, coming back for one new episode and following it with another two-week break. Ratings fell, and a balanced solution was sought. Would the series be better off if it ran straight through starting in January? That would be a long wait for one of the network's flagship shows. As a compromise, they split the series into parts. Six episodes would air in the fall, eighteen would be shown back to back in the second half of the television season.

I hope it's obvious to ABC and the show's producers now that that was the wrong move. Serialized shows work best when they can air week to week without interruption. Considering how many viewers are used to watching the show on DVD, a long wait for a full season is better than splitting it up into any number of parts.

Additionally, airing what amounts to a six episode prologue does nothing to placate the fickle audience who has been demanding answers right now for the past two seasons. Cliff-hangers on three different parts of the island had to be wrapped up. Given the show's grounding in character flashbacks, this took up half of the episodes. Immediately after those were resolved, a mini-season cliff-hanger had to be set in place. This tight outline allowed for little screen time for anyone other than Jack, Kate, and Sawyer, and left several mysteries that should have been addressed in the wake of last season's finale untouched. (Did Charlie tell anyone what happened in the hatch or was he happy living under the assumption that Locke and Eko were dead? How did Locke, Eko, and Desmond escape from the implosion? Has Sayid mentioned the big foot to anyone? What was the response on the beach to the sky turning purple?)

Put in perspective, I think the writers did the best they could with the time they had to tell a story. And while the payoff was limited in scope, it made for a very smart cliff-hanger. Leaving Sawyer with a gun to his head wouldn't exactly have me on the edge of my seat. Leaving Kate and Sawyer with one hour to escape from an island prison and Ben in the hands of a very pissed off Jack? That's something to look forward to.

To compare the show to one of my other favorite mysteries, I don't expect George R.R. Martin to bring the evil in a Song of Ice and Fire novel until all the characters have been reintroduced and we know where they're going. (On the other hand, leaving out half the cast didn't work well in A Feast For Crows, either. SoIF without Tyrion is like Lost without Hurley.) I expect Lost will return to business as usual in February, when we can finally learn what Bernard thinks of the fact that everyone else from the tail section is dead.